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holy tantrum - The Toddler Years

Old December 31st, 2014, 02:27 PM   #1
Navywifey


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holy tantrum

So DD will be 3 in a few months and she has been throwing tantrums over EVERYTHING. like she was moving a blanket around and she couldnt get it just the right way so i tried to help witch turned into a tantrum and is going on 30 mins now. She wont talk to me to tell me whats going on iv offered her food, bed, toys the blanket nothing it working. I need ideas. At the moment im just ignoring her because everything else was a wash. TIA


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Old December 31st, 2014, 03:49 PM   #2
Mindik

 
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When Laney gets that bad, and none of the tricks to snap her out of it are working, I just ignore her and walk away. Keep her from hurting herself in any way of course, but maybe she just needs to get the emotion out. :/


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Old December 31st, 2014, 04:37 PM   #3
Munko

 
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I say to my DD "I know you're really upset. I'm here when you're ready for a hug or need me." And as long as she is not hurting herself or trashing the place, I stay near by but I don't try to snap her out of it or talk her down, distract etc.

I agree with Mindi that she is getting some emotions out. Often these big metdowns are over something completely unrelated to what triggered it and they need a release and that's okay, as long as they're doing it safely!


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Old December 31st, 2014, 04:44 PM   #4
twobytwo

 
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my ds gets in those moods sometimes...and nothing works....when do they grow out of it?


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Old December 31st, 2014, 05:07 PM   #5
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I don't think they necessarily grow out of it, it just changes what it looks like as they get older and gain more impulse control and learn better ways to release those emotions.

But really, I cried for a good 20 mins yesterday on the couch when DD wouldn't nap because she's been sick and up all night and NEEDED sleep and I felt totally overwhelmed. Same thing, right? We all have those days - but as we get older they get less and less. Toddlers have a lot of big feelings and even the most verbal of them, still don't always know how to effectively convey them. It's our job to let them know those feelings are OK to have, and to show them appropriate ways to release them, when they aren't doing so appropriately. As they do get older, the important thing to do is be patient and listen (as hard as it is) what might start out as defiance and screaming or crying, will often lead to the real answers and problem if we give them the chance.

One of the most effective ways I've found to help stop a tantrum before it really starts is to validate those feelings before they get too hard to handle. In the instance of OP's case I'd maybe say something like "You were trying to fix the blanket but you couldn't, and I tried to help and you didn't want me to, now you're upset that I moved the blanket for you." That almost always ends my DD's impending fit...she just wants me to acknowledge how she's feeling and what I saw happen for her. It might be that she has been trying to do things all day that just aren't working for her, or she was really determined to do it herself and couldn't and it's frustrating when someone else can do it so easily, or it could have nothing to do with the blanket at all and that was just what broke the dam.


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Old December 31st, 2014, 07:26 PM   #6
Navywifey


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I had a twin size blanket folded in half that she was trying to lay flat when it didn't work she just started having a fit. I said do you want help? And took a cor er and was waiting for a response but never got a response. We ended up leaving the house and she was better after having a snack. I thought that she was tired so we went for a long drive to a small town near here. Shes still awake. Maybe she will sleep really good tonight. I can hope right????


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