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Thoughts on becoming a mother, a poem - Gentle Whispers of Hope

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Old July 29th, 2013, 11:04 AM   #1
September
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Thoughts on becoming a mother, a poem

Having yearned, cried & prayed for a baby--B Jr, our son-- for shortly over a year I know the struggle of losing a pregnancy--I had an early pregnancy loss in October of 2005-- as well as cycle and cycle of hoping to conceive. I wanted to share this poem with those that may be going through the hurt, anxiety, fear, worry, doubt, frustration, bitterness, or forsaken feeling like you're all alone. This poem has brought me much peace and comfort. It gave me a "reason" for our loss and struggle. It helped me to realize how truly special a blessing a pregnancy is, as well as the child it will grow in to. I love my children deeper, and more completely after hoping to conceive.

There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss
and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.
I will be better not because of genetics, or money or because I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.
I have longed and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.
Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover.
I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.
I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream.
My dream will be crying for me.
I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.
I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.
I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.
I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body.
I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed. I have succeeded.I have won. So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort.
I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen.
And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.
I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard.
I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life.
Yes, I will be a wonderful mother.
~Unknown


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Old July 29th, 2013, 11:21 AM   #2
HaveFaith
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Aww that poem is so sweet. It's exactly how I feel. Thanks for sharing


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Old July 29th, 2013, 11:27 AM   #3
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That's a wonderful poem. I've been there and was grateful for my SIL who understood as she had been there. Now I can be there for my friend who is going through this.


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Old July 29th, 2013, 11:29 AM   #4
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Thank you for sharing that


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Old July 29th, 2013, 09:47 PM   #5
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Thank you for sharing this poem with the LTTTC girls. It made me cry. It's just beautiful and expresses everything that I've been feeling. I will print it out & read it over and over as we embark on our IVF in a few weeks


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Old July 30th, 2013, 01:00 AM   #6
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Jamie, thank you for sharing that. I have run across that before and forgot about it. I really speaks to my heart, especially right now when times are hard. I sent it to my BFF, who also is struggling with MFI, her DH has zero sperm and they have to use donor IUIs. She also has a child from a previous marriage but hurts just as much as I do. When your heart is breaking for a child, it hurts no matter what!


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Old July 30th, 2013, 02:39 AM   #7
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I used to read this over and over and over again through the years we were going through all of the infertility stuff to get pregnant with Jackson, and it was so so comforting. So glad you brought it back here again


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Old July 30th, 2013, 11:50 AM   #8
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I printed it out a long time ago and now it sits in B's baby book. I want to print it out a nice paper, frame it, and hang it on the wall. That way when I am am having one of "those" days with the kids it can remind me of all I have to be thankful for, and all the pain and tears it took to get there. And that others are still struggling for their children and would give anything to be having one of "those" days in a house full of kids.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs.Windex View Post
Thank you for sharing this poem with the LTTTC girls. It made me cry. It's just beautiful and expresses everything that I've been feeling. I will print it out & read it over and over as we embark on our IVF in a few weeks


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