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Feeling down - Gentle Whispers of Hope

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Old September 29th, 2012, 12:01 AM   #1
Miette

 
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Crying Feeling down

So, AF is right around the corner for me. I can tell she's going to make an appearance soon. I know a lot of what I'm about to write is coming from PMS.

The thing that has me down is that my nephew and his wife just recently announced she is pregnant. Now they are around 23 yrs old and are just starting out in life. I am really happy for them. But, it just makes it that much more obvious that we aren't pregnant and may never be DH and I are the black sheep of our family and haven't always been the best aunt and uncle (just not very present in their lives), so we've been trying to remedy that the last few years. My nephew has been reaching out to us more and more lately and I don't want to pull away, but feel myself doing it I feel disappointed in myself and feel like I really should be there to support them. I don't think either of them have any idea how much their lives are about to change.

Their baby shower is coming up in November, she's due in January. They live in our same small town and I'm sure will be having the baby here. How do I move past my own feelings of failure and sadness to be there for them? When my best friend got pregnant, we were just starting to TTC so I was excited and hopeful that her and I could go through it together. But 20 cycles later, I just feel like a failure

I already bought them stuff for this baby. I want to share this experience with them. But, how to I keep the tears from falling?


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Old September 29th, 2012, 12:06 AM   #2
Triskele
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I am sorry hon, I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better. To be in this situation sucks, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Do remember though that what you are feeling is completely normal and pulling away is also a natural reaction to have. Allow yourself some space and don't be too hard on yourself. Trying long term is not easy, but know you are not alone!


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Old September 29th, 2012, 12:10 AM   #3
Jamc609
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Aww Hun, maybe the secret isn't to keep the tears from falling, but to let them fall in the right time and place. I know it isn't easy, not even a little, but forcing yourself to be happy isn't going to help either.

It sounds like you are excited for them in your own way and you are working to be an amazing aunt. My aunt never was able to have children and while I have a lot of hope for you I will tell you that she is one of the most precious people to me. The relationship I have with her is something super special. She wasn't around when I was really little, but through the years we have gotten really close.

I hope your bfp is just around the corner, and I am sending lots of hugs and strength to you.


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Old October 1st, 2012, 05:05 PM   #4
cdubs
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Jen.....ugh I just want to hug you.


Do you think they would understand if you told them how you felt? Just so they know how hard this is for you? That way they might understand why you are distant or sensitive? My neighbor is due is March. Her and I are pretty inseparable and it has been kinda hard. He was home from deployment two months and they got pregnant. But she also knows all our issues and is sensitive to us.

That being sad I hope in the last couple days you have processed this all alittle. Sometimes it's just about feeling heard. I have been trying to just focus on DH and I. And while the natural movement to move forward includes a child for us it might not. But most importantly it's just that we move forward together.


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Old October 1st, 2012, 05:24 PM   #5
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I agree with the other girls. I think I would want someone to be honest with me, especially if you are trying to build a relationship with them. I think if you start to pull away, and they don't understand why, people can think the worst. I feel for you and I think they would understand that you are happy for them and want to be there, but at the same time it does drum up feelings and sometimes you need to take time for yourself. Watching others come across what you want so easily can be so hard, I am so sorry you have to deal with this at all.


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Old October 1st, 2012, 11:12 PM   #6
Miette

 
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Thank you so much, ladies. They don't know we've been trying, but I think they would understand. Btw, today is CD1. Worst day of the month


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Old October 1st, 2012, 11:17 PM   #7
Jamc609
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miette
Thank you so much, ladies. They don't know we've been trying, but I think they would understand. Btw, today is CD1. Worst day of the month
I am so so sorry. The only time I really enjoy babies s in my tww, and then only some.


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Old October 2nd, 2012, 01:38 AM   #8
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CD1 sucks. And IF sucks too.


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