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Having trouble connecting - Pregnant After Loss

Old October 29th, 2014, 06:08 PM   #1
Kim
Beauty from Pain

 
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Having trouble connecting

We tried and tried for this pregnancy. Suffered multiple losses and now it looks like maybe there's a good chance that we'll have a baby in May.
I'm having a hard time connecting to this pregnancy. I am happy, of course. I find myself saying "if everything works out...." And "if I go off on mat leave this spring".....
It's like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm afraid to talk about this baby actually making it to term, actually being born alive, being here. I feel like if I get too happy or too optimistic, I will tempt fate.
Everyone is so happy for us. I hate when they tell me that they are. I feel like saying "shush, don't jinx me". Everyone says that I'll feel better once I pass the point in this pregnancy when I lost Gabriel. That's five weeks from now. Maybe I will? I feel like I won't feel safe until this baby is here.
I am somewhat resentful that I'm not enjoying this pregnancy like I should be. It's like I'm constantly wishing time away.


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Old October 29th, 2014, 06:25 PM   #2
rideswithchrist
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With DD!- since I had 2 miscarriages while trying, I did not connect either. It seemed like everyone else was excited except me. I was more like "well, we will see".

And then we went to the 20 week and got to see her moving all around and found out she was a girl. About a week later, I could feel her moving and started to connect.
But honestly- I did not truly bond with her until she was 6 weeks old and nursing and she smiled at me.

The bonding will come, and the "ifs" may hang out awhile. You will never forget your son and you may not feel ok until your new baby is born- and that is ok

Enjoy each DAY of the pregnancy and don't look too far in the future (until you are 36 weeks and need to get ready for labor)


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Old November 9th, 2014, 10:37 PM   #3
pamplemousse
♥ Byron's mommy ♥

 
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I know your fears... and the worst part is knowing that even at birth, the baby can die.
Nothing like late losses to destroy your innocence. It sucks.
All you can do is take it day by day, and hope that the odds are on your side this time... as they once were with your live children.
But I feel connected to this little one already. I hope s/he makes it.


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