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Graeme's Gotcha Day is May 29th! - Adoption/Foster Parenting

Old May 31st, 2013, 09:06 AM   #1
DrsWife

 
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Graeme's Gotcha Day is May 29th!

I feel very relieved but all kind of freaked out that he's really ours! He turned 5wks yesterday. I guess I'm experiencing what birthmom's go through at their child's birth - wow this child is now w/me forever!


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Old June 2nd, 2013, 03:03 PM   #2
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This is totally late, but I know how it feels! I am adopted, as well as my sister. My mom still keeps the photos of me at the court getting "officially adopted". Being adopted was seriously the best thing that ever happened to me. And since I am pregnant with my first daughter, my mother is always curious about what it feels like, can she touch my belly, etc.

If you ever have any questions on how to bring it up or any other sort of thing, feel free to ask! Adoption is amazing.


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Old June 3rd, 2013, 02:03 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shakeySB View Post
This is totally late, but I know how it feels! I am adopted, as well as my sister. My mom still keeps the photos of me at the court getting "officially adopted". Being adopted was seriously the best thing that ever happened to me. And since I am pregnant with my first daughter, my mother is always curious about what it feels like, can she touch my belly, etc.

If you ever have any questions on how to bring it up or any other sort of thing, feel free to ask! Adoption is amazing.
Aww thank you! I'm sure I'll have questions! But what do you think of us calling the 14yo birthmom Mama as opposed to me being Mommy? We have an open adoption. The BM likes to say, "we have a son, our son has two mommies" & would like to differentiate.


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Old June 9th, 2013, 06:53 PM   #4
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I agree. I was different in it being closed. But when I turned 18 I decided to find my birth mom and holy smokes did I realize I was lucky! I would say I am your mommy, but this lady helped me be your mommy.
I have gotten in alot of heated arguments with my birth mom Bc she tried to say that she was my real mom. And man, did I flip out! The way I always put it, is just because they're blood, doesnt mean they're family
I was always told from the start that I was adopted, and I love that that's how my parents did it otherwise it would have caused alot of drama when they did l bring it up.
Being told that you have 2 mommies PLUS a daddy (or a parter) is way too confusing and your daughter or son will be too confused.
Like I said, just say I'm your mommy, but this lady helped make it happen
I hope that helped!


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Old June 11th, 2013, 02:28 AM   #5
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Yes that makes a lot of sense! Thank you!!


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Old June 13th, 2013, 05:39 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shakeySB View Post
I agree. I was different in it being closed. But when I turned 18 I decided to find my birth mom and holy smokes did I realize I was lucky! I would say I am your mommy, but this lady helped me be your mommy.
I have gotten in alot of heated arguments with my birth mom Bc she tried to say that she was my real mom. And man, did I flip out! The way I always put it, is just because they're blood, doesnt mean they're family
I was always told from the start that I was adopted, and I love that that's how my parents did it otherwise it would have caused alot of drama when they did l bring it up.
Being told that you have 2 mommies PLUS a daddy (or a parter) is way too confusing and your daughter or son will be too confused.
Like I said, just say I'm your mommy, but this lady helped make it happen
I hope that helped!
This. I was adopted at birth in a closed adoption and my parents are my parents. My birth parents are not. Except I have chosen to not find them.

I can understand the birth mom's feelings, and I think maybe finding a special name for her would be appropriate, but not a mommy name. You are going to be this child's mommy. I think this will make it much easier on the kid. Not to mention it will likely help with boundaries-for example if the 14 y/o doesn't agree with a parenting decision you are making it will help eliminate the "I'm the mom too" argument.


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Old June 14th, 2013, 02:29 PM   #7
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This. I was adopted at birth in a closed adoption and my parents are my parents. My birth parents are not. Except I have chosen to not find them.

I can understand the birth mom's feelings, and I think maybe finding a special name for her would be appropriate, but not a mommy name. You are going to be this child's mommy. I think this will make it much easier on the kid. Not to mention it will likely help with boundaries-for example if the 14 y/o doesn't agree with a parenting decision you are making it will help eliminate the "I'm the mom too" argument.
Oh I hadn't considered that either. I asked a friend of mine from an open adoption who said his parents just called her by her first name. So I appreciate all the feedback. We won't be seeing her again for four months so we'll see how that goes. Maybe I'll try out a few terms while we're with her & see if any of them stick.


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Old June 15th, 2013, 07:58 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chels View Post

This. I was adopted at birth in a closed adoption and my parents are my parents. My birth parents are not. Except I have chosen to not find them.

I can understand the birth mom's feelings, and I think maybe finding a special name for her would be appropriate, but not a mommy name. You are going to be this child's mommy. I think this will make it much easier on the kid. Not to mention it will likely help with boundaries-for example if the 14 y/o doesn't agree with a parenting decision you are making it will help eliminate the "I'm the mom too" argument.
Chels- I'm pretty sure we are due the same month! Haha, it's cool to know someone else in the DDC was adopted too !


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