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Adoptive age - Adoption/Foster Parenting

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Old May 9th, 2013, 12:26 PM   #9
KillerQueen17
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I've never posted in here before, although I do have plans to foster and/or adopt in the future. So... hi!

Just wanted to chime in with a side note, when they say "needs to be youngest child" that may not always be the case. I have a friend who is a single woman in her 30's, and she really wanted to adopt a 16-year-old girl with some special/emotional needs that she saw on the state website, and later met at an adoption event, etc. The girl's file said she needed a two-parent home and needed to be the only child. Well, my friend is single, and she lives in a house with a family of 8(!) and another single woman. So it was hardly a traditional family, nor would this girl really be an only child if adopted.

But after a couple meetings, the girl's case manager realized how compatible they were, and allowed a trial run... and my friend ended up adopting her! It's been about two years, and the girl loves all her "cousins" and "extended family" that she now has, something she never had before!

So while I'm sure some kids have really good reasons why they NEED to be the youngest/only child, sometimes it may be a bit more flexible, especially if other things are working out really well and you seem compatible in other ways.

(I'm also hoping to foster older kids someday, but I know for a fact that DH and I are currently too mentally young and inexperienced for that. But I'm truly hoping it will happen someday!!)


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Old May 12th, 2013, 02:35 PM   #10
DrsWife

 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KillerQueen17 View Post
I've never posted in here before, although I do have plans to foster and/or adopt in the future. So... hi!

Just wanted to chime in with a side note, when they say "needs to be youngest child" that may not always be the case. I have a friend who is a single woman in her 30's, and she really wanted to adopt a 16-year-old girl with some special/emotional needs that she saw on the state website, and later met at an adoption event, etc. The girl's file said she needed a two-parent home and needed to be the only child. Well, my friend is single, and she lives in a house with a family of 8(!) and another single woman. So it was hardly a traditional family, nor would this girl really be an only child if adopted.

But after a couple meetings, the girl's case manager realized how compatible they were, and allowed a trial run... and my friend ended up adopting her! It's been about two years, and the girl loves all her "cousins" and "extended family" that she now has, something she never had before!

So while I'm sure some kids have really good reasons why they NEED to be the youngest/only child, sometimes it may be a bit more flexible, especially if other things are working out really well and you seem compatible in other ways.

(I'm also hoping to foster older kids someday, but I know for a fact that DH and I are currently too mentally young and inexperienced for that. But I'm truly hoping it will happen someday!!)
Welcome! We look forward to hearing more as you continue on your parenthood journey


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Old May 12th, 2013, 03:54 PM   #11
TurkeyMama
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As a current foster mother, and someone going through an adoption I just wanted to say good luck on the journey! We submitted our home study for several children. In doing so we were given a lot more info about them. I would just want to caution you that what it may say in a one paragraph blurb is often times a VERY cleaned up version of what their full file includes. After receiving a couple of "files" you will learn to read between the lines. Even then caseworkers can leave stuff out in order to try and find a placement. Make sure and ask a lot of questions about why they are in care, why they haven't already been adopted etc. Try and get permission to talk to the current and former foster parents. They are more likely to give you a real picture.

Good luck with the journey. It is tough but oh so worth it!


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Old May 17th, 2013, 05:40 PM   #12
KillerQueen17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DrsWife

Welcome! We look forward to hearing more as you continue on your parenthood journey
Thanks!!


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