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Katie's Journal - Trying Again - Trying Again: Our Journals

Old November 13th, 2011, 09:10 PM   #17
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I went to church this morning and it was okay. I heard a song on the radio on the way that made me get choked up but in a good way. ("Not Alone" by Red) Some people from DH and my home church were there, including a girl who was about 4 when we started going there. She LOVED me for some reason, she would always give me big hugs and ask me to carry her around, she was such a little sweetie. Well now she's 19, almost 20. I've seen her a few times in the past few years, and it was good to see her and her dad again. I really miss my home church.

The rest of today was fine too, I got laundry done, I made green beans, I went grocery shopping, and I got some work done to prepare for my classes tomorrow. I also went for a walk and my eating was good. I took some pictures of the cards I made yesterday, I'll post them somewhere and then I'm gonna watch THE AMAZING RACE! They're going to Denmark, so I'm excited.

Any comments go here - http://www.themommyplaybook.com/foru...86#post3076486

Thanks for reading!


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Old November 14th, 2011, 09:13 PM   #18
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Well today is CD 13 and not much to report. Some watery CM today, temps are fairly stable, negative OPK. I don't expect a positive OPK till CD 16 or so at the earliest. I've been fine emotionally, really busy with work and trying to relax in the evenings. Looking forward to Thanksgiving next week and our 17-day Christmas break from school!

Any comments go here - http://www.themommyplaybook.com/foru...86#post3076486

Thanks for reading!


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Old November 17th, 2011, 08:40 AM   #19
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I'm on CD 16!! I usually O around CD 17 or 18 so I should probably expect a positive OPK today or tomorrow, although this is my first time using wodfos so I'm not sure how they'll work for me. The non-digital CBE OPKs didn't ever give me a clear positive, but the digitals and my CBEFM did. I'm not wasting those expensive tests when we're not TTC though! I have had watery CM since CD 13 and my temps have been very stable. Hoping to see a rise sometime over the weekend which would put AF around the first week of December. Looking forward to Thanksgiving next week but trying not to gain weight is gonna be hard. I need the time off work though, I'm losing focus and getting burnt out. I need a mental health day! Especially after yesterday's faculty meeting... ugh.

Any comments go here - http://www.themommyplaybook.com/foru...86#post3076486

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Old November 18th, 2011, 08:30 AM   #20
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Holy EWCM!! Today is CD17 and I still haven't seen a positive OPK but I have noticed a change in cervical positioning/texture/openness and this morning I had LOTS of EWCM. My temp dropped a little this morning so maybe today is O day and it'll go back up tomorrow? Or maybe I'll get a positive OPK today and tomorrow will be O day. Even though we are "sitting out" this cycle, I feel like I'm learning a lot about what my body does around O time. My cycles are usually 35 days so I'm about halfway through. If I O this weekend it'll keep me on track to get AF at the beginning of December. That'll be my second AF since the miscarriage so after that we can try again. Now I'm kinda glad we're sitting out this cycle because I'm supposed to O probably this weekend and I'm having a pap done on Monday. If we were trying I'd be worried that the pap would mess up our chances, but since we're not trying I know there's nothing to worry about. Next week is a two-day work week, so I'm happy about that. Looking forward to the holidays!

Also, I jogged last night! I hate running, but I was doing my Wii Walk it Out game and I don't know what came over me but instead of walking in place I just started jogging in place! I was walking/jogging for about 40 minutes, and jogging was probably less than half of that, but still, it's progress. This will probably sound silly but one of the reasons I wanted to jog is that for the past few years my brother and I have had a plan to apply for the Amazing Race when he turns 21. He just turned 20 last month, and I've been watching this season of Amazing Race and realizing how much they have to RUN on that show. Well at the moment I am in no shape to run and have any chance at winning! So my brother of course is a big runner, very fit, very in shape, so I was talking to him the other day and last night I was thinking about him and I guess it motivated me to step it up! Thinking about doing Couch to 5K again, I tried it a couple years ago but stopped a few weeks in. But I need to do something to improve my running if we're really gonna apply for the Amazing Race!!

Any comments go here - http://www.themommyplaybook.com/foru...86#post3076486

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Old November 19th, 2011, 01:44 AM   #21
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DH told me this afternoon that he told his sister about the m/c. And his brother-in-law (who is pretty much a jerk and who I've met about four times) overheard. I got kinda upset and told him that I would appreciate if he'd ask me before he told people. He and his sister aren't very close and I don't know her very well. She's sweet and everything, and if he'd asked me I probably would have been okay with him telling her, but just the fact that he did it without asking and then that his brother-in-law (married to a different sister) overheard really upset me. So then he told me I was overreacting, and I was like, "Well, alright, you try having a miscarriage and then tell me what an appropriate reaction is." Probably shouldn't have said that, because I know the m/c hurt him too but it's strange, I feel like I'm doing well and not feeling too down about the m/c and then something happens and in the blink of an eye I'm on the verge of tears. He apologized for telling her without asking and I apologized for overreacting, but I'm tired of this stupid tension that's always there, just threatening to turn something little into something big. Later on there was another little incident that really isn't a big deal but it's still upsetting me. It's like, 90% of the time, we're fine, we joke around, we have fun, but the slightest little thing that goes wrong brings me to tears and keeps me in a bad mood for hours. These thoughts start going around and around in my head, that I'm not good enough, that I mess everything up, that I can't do anything right, that I'm not a good wife and I won't be a good mother, and I know those things aren't true but it's like I can't stop the thoughts from popping up, and then I feel kinda crazy for thinking that way. The frustrating part is I don't think it's a problem between me and DH, I think it's just me, I'm so much more emotional since the m/c and things that normally aren't a big deal just upset me a lot more than they would have before. I'd just really like to get back to my "normal" self but at this point I'm wondering if I'll ever get there again. Today was mostly good, so why do I get stuck focusing on the bad?

Any comments go here - http://www.themommyplaybook.com/foru...86#post3076486

Thanks for reading!


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Old November 19th, 2011, 11:24 PM   #22
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Getting a little irritated, I've been having negative OPKs this whole cycle, lately I've had lots of EWCM (especially yesterday) and I've noticed a big change in my cervix, it's definitely HSO (can barely reach it and can almost fit my finger inside). So far no temp change and no positive OPK. Last cycle (the BFP cycle) I O'd on CD19, and that's tomorrow. On CD18 of that cycle (today is CD18 of this cycle) I got a positive digital OPK. This time I'm just doing wondfos since we're not TTC, I don't wanna waste the expensive ones. I never got a positive OPK on a non-digital before, but I was hoping it would happen this time. Oh well, I'm hoping I'm gonna O soon (tomorrow? please?) and that I'll get the long-awaited AF #2 around the first week of December so we can be trying around Christmas and maybe test around New Years! FX for higher temps next week!!

Any comments go here - http://www.themommyplaybook.com/foru...86#post3076486

Thanks for reading!


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Old November 20th, 2011, 01:40 PM   #23
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Temp was still low this morning, but I've got MORE EWCM today and I had an ALMOST positive OPK (the darkest I've gotten on a wondfo) just now (around 12:30). Gonna try again this afternoon and maybe tonight. Hopefully O is today or tomorrow!

I'm in a GREAT mood today, listening to Adele and dancing around the house. Bout to do some exercising! I think I'm just happy that we only have two days of work this week. Hope everyone's having a great Sunday!

Any comments go here - http://www.themommyplaybook.com/foru...86#post3076486

Thanks for reading!


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Old November 21st, 2011, 06:42 PM   #24
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Got a positive wondfo OPK this morning and a temp drop. More EWCM. Hoping today is O day and I'll see temps start to rise tomorrow.

I went to see my OBGYN today for my yearly pap. The exam went fine, she said everything looked normal, and I told her I got my period a couple weeks ago. She said after the next one we can try again, yay!! She said I should call her as soon as I get another positive test and they'll go ahead and check hCG and progesterone from the beginning, and do an early ultrasound at 5-6 weeks (as soon as hCG is high enough to see something) and another u/s at 8 weeks when we could see the heartbeat. Hopefully with these early checks, if something goes wrong again we will know why and be able to fix it for the next time. I'm starting to get nervous but mostly just excited, when I left the doctor's office I was just grinning thinking that we get to try again. I scheduled my pap for next year for December 4, and I was thinking, maybe I'll have a 2-3 month old baby by then!! I know it may take us a while to conceive again, but it's exciting to think about!

Any comments go here - http://www.themommyplaybook.com/foru...86#post3076486

Thanks for reading!


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