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Amy's Cycle Thread-TTC A/L of #1 - Trying Again: Our Journals

Old January 22nd, 2012, 12:05 PM   #1
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Amy's Cycle Thread-TTC A/L of #1

Jan 22nd 2012 CD 10

Well I suppose it is time to start my own thread. I can't believe we have to start all over again... I bought a new package of OPKs and started temping again. I have temped for the past six days. So far I have been good about getting the temp at the same time. Hopefully I'll be able to see a clear ovulation time. I usually O around cd 19-21, and I am just getting over AF, so I have got a ways to go.
Last time it took us almost a year to get pregnant-I really hope it won't be that long this time. We actually were getting ready to see the infertility doc when a week before the appt I found out I was expecting our first. We were so excited. Then all of our dreams were crushed when we went to the sono and didn't see the heartbeat.
But alas we will start over. I started this month full of optimism, but last night kind of had a pity party for myself. Just thinking about having to restart the ttc process. And if/when I do get pregnant I'll have to start over with the worrying and not to mention the nausea/vomiting, extreme fatigue,etc. Oh well, I know it will be worth it. My nieces and nephews remind me of that every day. Just need to get my good vibes going again.
I am excited to start the OPKs again- it's like Christmas morning when you get the positive sign. And I look forward to writing the progress in my journal, hopefully it won't be too long before I can write in the DDC forum about my own rainbow baby.


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Old March 10th, 2012, 12:15 PM   #2
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March 10th 2012 cd 2

I was so sure this past cycle was going to be a . I had symptoms-bbs were tender, I was sooo tired, I felt nauseous. My temps were even reassuring-it looked like there was an implantation dip and my temp shot up a couple days later. It was like a dagger to my heart when I got the bfn. But I just thought maybe it is too early, maybe I Oed later. Just trying to justify why it was negative. But at least mother nature didn't let me get my hopes up high-af showed only a few hours later. I am not sure I want to temp anymore. I was just so sure that my chart was great and our bd schedule was spot on. Just still can't believe I am not pregnant.
Well I only have one more cycle until my angel baby's due date. Can't believe I would have been meeting my beautiful baby next month, but now I am back to square one. So tired of thinking of what could have been, but I just can't seem to stop. Especially since I have several coworkers due these next few months and several of the patients at work are due in April and May. It is so hard to look at their pregnant bellies and think that is what I would look like now.
I am starting to get good vibes again, though. I think a December baby would be great. What perfect timing. I would be able to split up my pto between 2012 and 2013, so I would have all 6 or 8 weeks post partum paid for. Not to mention what a great gift to get for Christmas. I am so pumped for this cycle. I am going to give it all I have and dh is on the same page so that definantly helps. My only concern is if I get a bfn this cycle it will be the same time as when my edd would have been. So I will be an emotional wreck. I just can't think about that. Need to stay positive. Must stay positive... Must stay positive...


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Old March 16th, 2012, 07:56 PM   #3
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I hope everything works out for you. im starting over myself but statying postive as much as i can.


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Old April 15th, 2012, 01:01 PM   #4
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Well today is the day I have been dreading since the miscarriage. This was my edd of my little angel. It so far hasn't been as horrible as I thought it would be. As long as I don't think about it for long periods of time, otherwise I do get a little teary eyed. My sil did text me to let me know she remembered what today was-I thought that was very thoughtful of her. She and my brother have been having issues ttc a sibling for my niece, so she knows how stressful this is. My dh also asked how I am doing, I told him I would like to just keep busy today, so I won't dwell on it.
In all actuality I really feel like I am doing okay today because I know we are going to see a specialist and hopefully be getting answers to why we have been having issues ttc and advice on how to move forward. I am a person who has to have a plan. I need control and this ttc journey has taken that away from me. I think the specialist will be able to help me get part of that control back.
I did come across sentence today that did lift up my mood: "God turns my darkness into light" psalm 18:28. I sure do hope that this darkness turns to light fast, so I can enjoy my rainbow baby!


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Old April 23rd, 2012, 07:23 AM   #5
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i hope so to for you - thats a beautifull verse. hope your bfp is around the corner Amy xxx


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Old May 12th, 2012, 09:36 PM   #6
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Oh Mother's Day, how I dread you this year. I should have a 1 month old to celebrate it with, but I am empty handed. I am glad I will be able to celebrate with my family, but it will be bittersweet. I am excited for my grandma, mom, MIL, and my SILs. This day is a celebration for them and what incredible women they are. I just wish I was a mom so freaking bad it hurts sometimes. My appt with the RE can't come soon enough.


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Old May 29th, 2012, 07:27 AM   #7
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My hopes and best wishes for you and always keep positive never lose your hope


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