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Christmas Spirit - Gentle Whispers of Hope

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Old December 18th, 2012, 04:10 PM   #1
muttmatch
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Crying Christmas Spirit

SO I know I am usually the endless ray of sunshine. It is my natural way of being. I am not really depressed....just not in the Christmas Spirit.

Christmas is my favorite time of year. I love it so much I had a Christmas wedding and I always make a huge deal. My stockings were hung and all the decorations up before my surgery, and I was doing well. This last week...I just feel it being sucked out of me. I am not getting along with DH's family, I don't have any other family in the area. I don't really want to spend Christmas with them. I would love just a quiet Christmas with just DH and I. Not having to entertain anyone, or go to anyone else's house. (We have his family coming over Christmas Eve, and then Christmas Day we are going over to his brother's house as all of his brother's girlfriends family comes over.)

I wanted this Christmas to be celebrated with a baby. I wanted this to be our first Christmas with a child. So I am sad about that. I don't really want to celebrate anything...I just want to stay home.

I know this will pass...but I am hoping sharing my feelings will help me air them out and understand them more. Thank you for reading...


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Old December 18th, 2012, 09:20 PM   #2
hope4serenity
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i know how you feel hon. i didnt put up our tree and decorations because i feel its so much work for just us. someday soon we with both have our dream holidays with our much deserved little ones. we just have to keep our chin up and keep on keeping on. hugs


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Old December 18th, 2012, 11:43 PM   #3
Miette

 
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So sorry your Christmas Spirit is a bit down right now, Ashley. Something I have learned in life is that sometimes things are just hard...and that's ok. You and DH have to take care of each other and do what makes you both happy. One day soon, you two will be able to start your own Christmas traditions with your little one(s) and I can't wait to follow your journey You are such an amazing, caring, thoughtful, supportive woman and you are always here for us. Don't forget, we're here for you right back


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Old December 18th, 2012, 11:46 PM   #4
nic.cox
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I'm sorry, Ashley. This holiday is so hard if you don't have the spirit. I don't remember any of last Christmas, and it hurts to have that hole. Next Christmas though, you'll have a tiny one in your arms, I just know it!

Keep your chin up. There's no where to go but forward.


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Old December 19th, 2012, 08:29 AM   #5
Triskele
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I'm sorry Ashley Your feelings are completely natural. Christmas is a wonderful time of year, but when we have aching arms it hurts so much more. I have been struggling myself with trying to get into the Christmas spirit as I just feel that we (all us LTTTCers) should all have our babies by now and here we are, another Christmas and still no baby. Add to that mix you not getting on with DH's family very well right now, you are allowed to be feeling the way you do! I am hoping the Christmas spirit catches up to us all soon! As Jennifer says, let us be you light right now!


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Old December 19th, 2012, 09:40 AM   #6
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It isn't the whole baby thing either...I mean it was the same last year, we were just getting over our first failed IVF. I just don't have my family around me and DHs family kinda suck....His moms Bipolar is getting much worse. His brother and I don't really talk anymore, I don't talk with his GF like ever...so its basically I am spending Christmas with a bunch of strangers that I am not comfortable being around...


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Old December 19th, 2012, 09:41 AM   #7
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I wish I could just hop on a plane and spend Christmas with my family, my parents are right outside of Vegas....


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Old December 19th, 2012, 11:13 AM   #8
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It's so hard to be away from family, and be waiting for a little one.


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