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Kimberly's Journal - Journals

Old May 30th, 2015, 06:53 AM   #1
spnkb7


Member #: 28949
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 4
Kimberly's Journal

So. I like the idea of a journal. Sometimes it's good to have a place to vent.

See, I just turned 30 and it has me thinking more about starting a family. Now, I understand the bf wanting to wait a little longer. Especially with our rent being raised $130. With luck he'll be manager by next year, and make starting a family more realistic, financially. We'll manage even with the increase, but it's still more than expected...especially when trying to save. Hopefully we can find something more suitable, like closer to his work. If not, I'm praying he does make manager before too long. That could also lead to us finally moving east like we want to.

We haven't been the most careful this month, and we've talked about it. If it happens, it happens. But I think with the rent increase he'll probably snap back to being super careful. I won't deny a part of me hoping for an 'oops'. I've been hoping leaning at least toward NTNP, but I think that's out. I understand waiting, but that part of me that wants to be a mom? It does not get logic. In the least.

My bf and I have been together 9 years, and we have a good stable relationship. We'll probably get married at some point, though it's not a necessity. I mean, I'd like to, but I think having a good, stable relationship is the most important.

I've been dealing with so much these past few years. Such as losing my oldest sister Oct 2013. It just makes me want to embrace life more. Move forward. I'm finally starting to do better emotionally...I don't cry even close to as much. I miss her so much but life can't stop. I believe the best way to honor her is to live our lives the best we can. To the future.


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Old May 31st, 2015, 03:11 PM   #2
spnkb7


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Join Date: May 2015
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I think I like torturing myself. I've been walking the baby aisles every time I go to the store. Also, spending way too much time browsing baby related stuff. Planning out things. Sigh. I'm just wanting to be a mom.


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Old May 31st, 2015, 06:11 PM   #3
mandalynn

 
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I'm glad you've found a place to write down and work through your thoughts and feelings. It's so hard, wanting to be a mom, but trying to figure out the best timing for it all, and coming to an agreement with your SO. I can totally relate. My DH and I had a really hard time deciding when to try for our first. This second time around has been a little easier, but still tough. (We're going to start trying in July) I'm so sorry to read about your sister too I can't even imagine how hard that would be.

Just wanted to stop in with some hugs! I'm glad you're here and I hope you find some support and comfort here!


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