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Pushing off TTC baby #2 - June 2013 Playgroup

Old July 16th, 2014, 01:29 AM   #1
JP'sGirl26

 
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Pushing off TTC baby #2

I don't even know what to title my thread. I guess I'll come up with something later. LOL.

So I was SURE that we would want to start trying for #2 after Logan turned one. It just took SO LONG to get pregnant that I've pretty much banked on 2+ years for us to get pregnant. So that would make Logan almost 4 when the baby was born if that was true. Which sounds good or maybe even too long.

But I'm honestly terrified that I would get pregnant sooner. I'm NOT ready for another one now or nine months from now. I have no idea how I would take care of Logan while being so sick or take care of another baby with Logan. He is SO clingy and needy it's crazy. That being said, if I accidently got pregnant I would jump for joy just because it happened, freak out, and then deal with it and totally love the baby. But PLANNING to have another one now just seems not good.

I'm sure y'all have gotten the vibe through most my FB posts but Logan is a HARD baby. Or maybe he's just a normal baby and I'm just way anxious and slighty depressed. Or a combo of the two. But I did not expect to feel like this and it makes me really sad. I really did want one or two other kids and I love Logan and want him to have siblings but now I'm scared I'll never want any more. AND I'm scared I'll never be ABLE to have any more, or that we'll actually have to shell out the $20 grand for IVF this time. It's just this crazy conflict. Because I know I will probably, most likely, want more babies eventually. And I'm worried that when I'm ready for that baby, it will take so long there will be a huge age difference between Logan and his sister or brother.

So. Our original plan (like, before Logan was born) was that I drop the birth control this month. But DH and I decided against it. Then we decided October. And now we've decided no on that as well. Now we're thinking somewhere between December and July of next year (HUGE range there! ). I know I just shouldn't even think about it because we'll probably just know when we're ready but I just kind of feel guilty and sad about the whole thing.

That is all. I'm not sure why I keep dumping all my personal problems on you ladies, but you know I love y'all, right?


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Old July 16th, 2014, 12:12 PM   #2
WhiteWolfe

 
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I think it's good that you are holding off if you truly do not want to add to your family right now. Too often, people have babies for the wrong reasons. And you may end up getting pregnant easily the next time you want to. Your body knows how to do it now so maybe you won't have any issues the next time around. You have a lot going on right now and a lot on your plate. I think it's very smart to follow your heart. I'm sorry it's a struggle for you though and makes you sad. You may feel differently in six months or a year- once things settle down a bit for you. It's ok to feel the way you do. You're doing an amazing job with Logan and you're doing what you feel is best. Hugs <3

Don't feel guilty!! Having another baby when you know it's not the right time would be unfair to all of you.

And also, this is exactly where you're supposed to talk about your problems!! We all do it


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Old July 16th, 2014, 01:41 PM   #3
ChickenQueen
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhiteWolfe View Post
I think it's good that you are holding off if you truly do not want to add to your family right now. Too often, people have babies for the wrong reasons. And you may end up getting pregnant easily the next time you want to. Your body knows how to do it now so maybe you won't have any issues the next time around. You have a lot going on right now and a lot on your plate. I think it's very smart to follow your heart. I'm sorry it's a struggle for you though and makes you sad. You may feel differently in six months or a year- once things settle down a bit for you. It's ok to feel the way you do. You're doing an amazing job with Logan and you're doing what you feel is best. Hugs <3 Don't feel guilty!! Having another baby when you know it's not the right time would be unfair to all of you. And also, this is exactly where you're supposed to talk about your problems!! We all do it
So, I typed out this long reply hours ago and lost it. Ugh! Hate when that happens.

So now I'm back.

I agree completely with Laura. It is completely fine if you guys don't want to TTC right now! (We don't either, btw.). You made those baby "plans" before you had some important information, ya know? You made that before you knew you were moving, before you knew for sure your DH was going back to school, and most importantly...before you were parents! Now you can make a more informed decision.

There is nothing wrong with waiting! And don't feel guilty because you don't want another baby right now. It doesn't mean you're not a great mom! In fact, you're awesome. Because you don't want to have another child knowing you couldn't be your best self for them. Just focus on yourself, your DH, and Logan right now and enjoy your sweet family of three! There is time to have another baby. And so what if Logan is like 5 or 6 before another comes along? Think of how HELPFUL that would be! Haha.

Bottom line, plans change. That's ok. God has a plan, and he'll change your heart when the time is right. Either that or make you have an "oops." haha

You're making the best decision for your family. Don't think just because other families want to have another baby so soon means that's the only way to do it. Do what works for you!


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Old July 16th, 2014, 07:00 PM   #4
Meg626


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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhiteWolfe View Post
I think it's good that you are holding off if you truly do not want to add to your family right now. Too often, people have babies for the wrong reasons. And you may end up getting pregnant easily the next time you want to. Your body knows how to do it now so maybe you won't have any issues the next time around. You have a lot going on right now and a lot on your plate. I think it's very smart to follow your heart. I'm sorry it's a struggle for you though and makes you sad. You may feel differently in six months or a year- once things settle down a bit for you. It's ok to feel the way you do. You're doing an amazing job with Logan and you're doing what you feel is best. Hugs <3 Don't feel guilty!! Having another baby when you know it's not the right time would be unfair to all of you. And also, this is exactly where you're supposed to talk about your problems!! We all do it
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChickenQueen View Post
So, I typed out this long reply hours ago and lost it. Ugh! Hate when that happens. So now I'm back. I agree completely with Laura. It is completely fine if you guys don't want to TTC right now! (We don't either, btw.). You made those baby "plans" before you had some important information, ya know? You made that before you knew you were moving, before you knew for sure your DH was going back to school, and most importantly...before you were parents! Now you can make a more informed decision. There is nothing wrong with waiting! And don't feel guilty because you don't want another baby right now. It doesn't mean you're not a great mom! In fact, you're awesome. Because you don't want to have another child knowing you couldn't be your best self for them. Just focus on yourself, your DH, and Logan right now and enjoy your sweet family of three! There is time to have another baby. And so what if Logan is like 5 or 6 before another comes along? Think of how HELPFUL that would be! Haha. Bottom line, plans change. That's ok. God has a plan, and he'll change your heart when the time is right. Either that or make you have an "oops." haha You're making the best decision for your family. Don't think just because other families want to have another baby so soon means that's the only way to do it. Do what works for you!
They both said it way better then I could have. One frustrating, yet awesome, thing about family planning is that we really have no say in it. However your family is meant to be, it will be. You are a great mom. And Logan will be a great big brother, no matter when that happens. You are being incredibly self aware and responsible by knowing you aren't ready. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with not being ready!


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Old July 16th, 2014, 09:54 PM   #5
tiffnyloo


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We keep doing the same thing, saying, "Oh we'll start this day", but then keep pushing it back. I see other mamas getting pregnant and I am like oh exciting, then I think about the reality of it and I'm like no, no, no, not ready.

It is so confusing. Listen to your heart and don't feel guilty that you aren't ready yet, you have your whole life ahead of you. You're still young, you could get pregnant easily next time and even if you don't like the other ladies said, there's only so much we can control.


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