I realized quite a while ago that what I do (and don’t do) influences and affects my children more than anything else. As their mother I build the foundation for the rest of their lives…if that realization is not a wake-up call I don’t know what is. I feel very motivated to be the best parent I can be…like everything else in life parenthood is an endless opportunity for growth and education. I am such a different parent now than I was 12 years ago. I’ll spare you the “if I knew then what I know now” speel and just say over the last decade (wow…I’ve been a parent for over TWELVE years!) I have learned a great deal and grown so much, I am much better parent now. I am passionate about my children because my pregnancy loss, the pain of hoping to conceive, and significant health issues during pregnancy (developing pulmonary emboli) and living to talk about it, to raise my children has taught me what an utterly gracious blessing children are.
The things I do…the baby wearing, the breastfeeding, the co-sleeping, staying at home/saying no to childcare are things that I do because they are the right decisions for me, for our kids, and our family, but the absolute most important thing is to love you children with all you heart an soul–be passionate about them. I say that because I know their are women out there that are riddled with guilt that the bottle or formula feed, or because they have to put their child in daycare… none of that makes you a bad parent, but what makes you a good parent is not just running through the motions of child rearing but being passionate about them. I know from experience too that other people in life don’t hesitant to judge parents, and some of the more tactless ones even tell them what is best for their family. If you are doing what you feel is best for your family, if what you’re doing is working for your family you shouldn’t feel guilty. The person judging is not walking in your shoes, and although probably well meaning, not everyone knows everything, nor does what works for one person, one baby, one family necessarily work for another.
On my trek to becoming a better parent than I am now I ordered some parenting related books late last month. Amazon gave me a really wide arrival time of two weeks, and the one from eBay also had a generic shipping/receiving timetable. I am not a patient person and I was sooooo excited when the mail lady pulled up to the door and unloaded three boxes. One from Amazon, one from eBay, and one from a friend of mine with an outfit for Kadie, books for the kids, a book for me, and treats for Abby (our beagle).
Today I received:
The Successful Child
The Petit Appetit Cookbook
Parenting with Fire
The Vaccine Book
The Discipline Book
The last two I borrowed from the library a few weeks ago, but decided they were such an awesome reference I had to add them to my personal library. As if that isn’t enough reading material to keep me busy for awhile, yesterday I ordered:
Discipline: The Brazleton Way
Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline
and a children’s dictionary that I got for Ashleigh (and/or Rebecca) just because it was a good price and there was combined shipping, lol.
Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline caught my eye mostly because of Ashleigh. I love her so much but her constant negative behaviour is very challenging. That book, that someone on The Mommy Playbook, recommended has been a God Send! I checked it out from the library but after reading a couple chapters knew I needed it indefinitely. The base of the book is not about changing your child, but changing yourself. The way the author writes it all, the points she makes, the things she suggests…wow!
The Vaccine Book is equally astounding, but in a much different way. Did you all know there is aluminum and formaldehyde (that’s write the stuff that stunk up the biology lab when you dissected your poor, dead, frog) in some vaccines? Did you know that the risk of a breastfed baby, not in daycare, developing certain things they doctors routinely insist on vaccinating for is virtually nil? This book has been a real wake-up call. Not contaminating my children with a bunch of aluminum containing vaccines, not giving them stuff they really don’t need, not giving them vaccines that carry certain risks/high risks, and not overwhelming BB’s and Kadie’s little systems with them is very, very important to me. BB has his two year appointment on the 12th. I plan on taking this book and getting the manufacturer’s information about the vaccines before they inject him with anything. If they do not want or cannot give me that information then they will not vaccinate him or Kadie at her two month appointment. My children will have the vaccines I want them to have, when I feel it’s best for them to have them, and only after I’ve had time to research or else they will not be vaccinated.
I am planning on reviewing all the books (sooner or later) so stay tuned!
